Transformation Archives - Page 2 of 5

Why Drinking Could be Derailing Your Destiny of Greatness

August 28, 2018 by Yanik Silver

I feel like I’m going to get some grief for this, but it’s worth it.

First off, I’m not going to make an “always” or “never” statement here, but if this strikes a nerve or triggers an emotional response, there’s something here for you to examine.

So here goes….

Most highly talented entrepreneurs I know are drinking way too much to cover up for NOT doing their most important work here.

By drinking and partying, we don’t have to examine what our REAL purpose is or what our greatest expression of who we could become.

This really struck me when I took 33 days off from drinking a few summers ago.

I was drinking too much (at least for me) because I realized I hadn’t strung together more than two days concurrently without having a glass of wine, bourbon, beer, etc. It was never a lot, but it was enough that I couldn’t recall a long period of time spent not drinking.

No doubt, I had already cut back a bit on my hard-drinking days, but I wasn’t totally beyond it. And I noticed that at some events I attended or was a part of, the vibe was actually too much of a party. I used to love drunk conversations with smart friends, but I realized I was just fooling myself.

I was using alcohol to help me “loosen up.”

To help me socialize more. To assist me with getting my ideas flowing.

Or whatever excuse you want to use.

Frankly, drinking is just woven into so many social situations.

I get it. I play men’s league ice hockey, and after each game, we have beers in the locker room or parking lot. I meet up for drinks with friends. I have wine with dinner. I want something when I head to a restaurant, etc. The list goes on and on. But that’s not even the deeper issue. What I’ve seen is that some of the smartest and most talented individuals I know get hammered!

Why?

Perhaps it’s because we want to forget our “responsibilities” for a little while.

I’m not talking about responsibilities like putting the sheets in the dryer or taking out the recycling but more like our Destiny of Greatness and true Dharma. Yep, the BIG stuff!

I knew I had to change something because I was drinking so regularly. I didn’t have a problem necessarily, but I hated the feeling that something could influence me more than I could influence it.

So I did a little experiment…

I like 33 days for the length of time to experiment with because it’s a specific number, it forces you beyond just one month, and 33 has become quite symbolic for me in the last few years. (It actually shows up in some really synchronistic ways that are hard to explain as simply being coincidences. More on that another time.)

The 33-Day No-Drinking Experiment

About 3 weeks in, I had “amnesia” about what date I said I’d stop. I knew the date, of course, but was considering if I had somehow miscalculated. Finally, at midnight on the final night, I was so excited to drink again that I grabbed a semi-cold hard cider and sat on my front steps.

Hmm…moving into an observer role here and realized I hadn’t really changed too much, but I was still proud for completing this experiment.

The next summer I tried again. This time after the 33 days, I did cut back on my drinking a bit. It eventually took one more 33-day period to really get this to stick and for me to develop a new practice. I’ve realized I can be much more mindful, intentional, and conscious about it. Previously, it was just habitual. Of course you have a glass of bourbon at 5 p.m. after back-to-back meetings because that’s what you do.

It’s fascinating watching your friends react in social situations. The big question is always “WHY?” I play ice hockey, so the boys never got it, but I stood my ground.

Now I’ve become more aware and exacting about when and what I’ll drink.

If I’m having a great meal, I might (or might not) want to pair up a good wine with it. Or if there’s a big celebration, like the BVI Art Reef sinking, I’ll have some champagne. On a recent trip to Necker, Richard wanted to do our signature shot. I had never actually done shots with him over the many years we’ve been together, so I figured this was a moment I wanted to share. (We have a special shot called the “BBG” on Necker that’s become a Maverick tradition.)

Or enjoying Patron with John Paul DeJoria, the co-founder of Patron, at his family’s ranch with other Mavericks a few years back? To me, that’s a good moment to enjoy this spirit.

It’s interesting that the word “spirit” references both the alcohol and our inner essence.

I’ve realized when I am aligned with my greatest purpose, I really, really want to be at my optimal so that I don’t miss any moments or subtle insights. Full awareness. Pay attention. For me, I definitely feel less intuitive for about 2 days after drinking. It’s subtle, but these subtle energies are where the greatest “downloads from the universe” come from like my Cosmic Journal.

Perhaps this is an experiment you want to take on? (Let me know if you do.)

Fully Embracing The Obstacles On Our Path as Gifts

March 20, 2018 by Yanik Silver

In my journal the other night, I drew this picture of Ganesha, the Hindu deity that is the placer and remover of obstacles.

Why?

I think I’ve been in a funk lately.

I guess I can admit it.

I had mistakenly thought I had one big dip I went through several years back when the business nearly collapsed. And when I came out the other side, I thought I was done with these downturns.

Maybe not.

As I’ve really gotten clearer on my highest purpose – to “catalyze the catalysts” – it’s become pretty apparent to me that the marketplace has only “rewarded” me when I put something out with my full heart. It’s not good enough anymore to just deliver significant value – it has to be in complete service to my greatest work or I seem to get lukewarm results.

From an elevated point of view, I can look at each setback as a course correction or a nudge for me to get back onto my true work. That’s the benefit of these obstacles actually.

Several years back, it took going through my biggest reversals in my company and $400,000.00 to originally get that lesson. That was the big enough number I needed to get my attention. Anything else and I wouldn’t have really felt it.

As we hit upon our 10-year anniversary at Maverick, I am totally grateful for having gone through that because it forced me to reevaluate what I was doing. My greatest impact wouldn’t have been from simply running an adventure travel company. That’s when I was forced to see what my biggest WHY really was. And it gave me a way to clear the decks. I wouldn’t have ever come up with the interconnected EcoVerse and our mission of “changing the way business is played.”

This has become the cornerstone for what I was meant to do.

Lately, I’ve been experiencing a few minor “setbacks” again in our businesses (nothing near what happened before) as we continue evolving how to truly fulfill the big idea of “lighting 1,000 suns who can light another 1,000 suns.”

One of our members called me an artist because I’m never satisfied with what we are delivering. And maybe that’s true.

At first, as I was seeing some of these smaller dips, I was really annoyed and even feeling shame. I felt like I’ve been through this…why hadn’t I seen this earlier?

It gets difficult when I look at some of my friends who are “crushing it.” And it’s even harder knowing some of those colleagues learned what they are doing from me. But as I tell my kids, every time you compare, it makes you unhappy. I realize I have everything I already need, and getting caught up in comparing is a losing proposition.

At my core, I do believe wherever we are, we’re in the perfect spot, regardless of what our ego might believe. And my sharing this and teaching it is just another reminder to myself.

Objectively, I am in a much different place now. In fact, I can actually welcome this situation as a way to continue aligning more deeply with my greatest work.

Normally if I feel some sort of lack, I go straight into counting my blessings and writing down what I’m grateful for. But this time I want to truly honor some of these feelings and emotions – to not push anything away but also not to let it get stuck inside me.

In the drawing, I also illustrated the words “Embrace fully” and “Play fully” – this is the idea of fully embracing everything that shows up and actually seeing it as a gift.

That makes the space to receive.

I look at these situations as new ways for me to decide how I do want to react, how to remain centered and fully open to anything life shows me. It’s an opportunity to work through it with a clear sense of gratitude. And to have the appreciation of having another chance at watching the elevated viewpoint of how this situation will ultimately uncover something even greater (even if I don’t totally see it now).

To be in a state of “effortless effort,” truly putting everything I’ve got into what we’re doing in service of the world, like the Global Goals we’ve been aligning with.

If I trust the Universe has even more in store for me than I’ve even expected, then this situation takes on a sense of curiosity. What’s next? What will open up?

So much of this is in our beliefs.

What if we believe we have bad luck or nothing ever works out or that this is part of a bigger downfall? You can guess what happens then.

Our world seems to exactly mirror our deepest held beliefs.

If we have a choice in what to believe, why not believe we’re part of a bigger plan the Universe has in store for us? Believe in Maverick Magic and the term we coined at Camp Maverick; “Synchro-Maverick-nicity.”

And then TRUST that these obstacles are being placed in our path to nudge us toward something even better.

There are no wrong turns

November 15, 2017 by Yanik Silver

The other night on the way to the cadre DC event in Silver Spring, I took a route I seldom take. And as I passed 16th St, I thought I recognized my very first apartment bldg my family lived in when we came to this country.

I considered stopping but wouldn’t be on time.

I pretty much forgot all about it as I left to go home. The scene outside was a bit foggy and rainy with plenty of bad traffic to contend with – not really optimal driving conditions. I missed a turn and went a different route home keeping an eye out for food to bring home to the family. I thought I was close to Parkway deli so scooted across 3 lanes….only to realize it wasn’t the right street.

Not even close.

Probably should have mapped it instead of relying on memory.

Oh well, I’ll just head back to the beltway and get something closer to home.

Several wrong turns later I was back on Georgia Ave but headed the opposite way back into downtown Silver Spring again.

At this point I was starting to get annoyed but then just as quickly I thought maybe something else interesting will pop up. I was still thinking food-wise.

Taking 16th St from a different direction, I realized I was looking at the wrong apartment building previously.

Hmmm…

I parked the car and all these feelings started welling up. I had never been back to this place for 37+ years. It wasn’t nostalgia but something else.

The bus stop out front did it for me.

To set up this story you need to understand Russian immigrants might do things a little differently. 😉

My parents headed off to work really early and I was supposed to get myself ready. There was a family friend/babysitter who lived in the same building and I’d wake up and go to her apartment before school.

Except one morning I didn’t show up.

That morning I got on my superman slippers and took my big leather European wallet/satchel with all my Hanukah money in it.

My 6 year-old self was determined to get on that bus and head to People’s Drug (anyone remember People’s before CVS?) and get markers and paper to draw with.

Plan seemed smart to me.

I got on the bus with no problem. Went to People’s and got my markers. All good.

But on the way back I had no idea things took a turn for the worse. I asked a woman for the bus to 16th st and she pointed me to some direction. As I sat on the bus looking out the window things definitely didn’t seem right. I had no clue there was a DC and MD side to 16th st.

When we came to the final stop the driver looked at me and said, “End of the line kid.”

Thankfully he didn’t let me get off when he saw the look on my face. He called the police and they took me to the station. I knew where my father worked and they managed to contact him to come pick me up. I had entertained the officers with some of my drawings.

This has always been a funny story in our family. How much I loved to draw, getting on the wrong bus, my determination, etc. but it could have turned out pretty different.

Tonight, when I sat in the parking lot all these intense feelings of unease and sadness came up as soon as I pulled in.

It felt like I was tapping into the fear my parents and family friends felt when they couldn’t find me. Talking about that incident as an adult to them a few years back they shared how terrified they were to check the metro tracks that ran behind the building for what they might find.

With my own kids now it’s painful to imagine what everyone went through for the time I was missing.

My attention shifted from forgiveness for what I put my parents through to myself. To be able to go “back” in time and provide love, protection and help for my scared 6-year old self.

As I sat there it seemed almost like I tapped into some sort of “frozen holographic slice” of time energy that had been “stuck” there. But now I had the tools to consciously navigate out.

From there with tears welling up in my eyes, I realized I was actually really close to Parkway Deli but only because of my detour and “wrong” turns.

Who do you need to forgive to unlock love, laughter and happily ever after?

November 13, 2017 by Yanik Silver

At the last Maverick Retreat in Vermont at Joe DeSena‘s private farm, our theme was “pushing limits”. Throughout the workshop we had sessions uncovering limiting beliefs in our businesses, relationships, health & vitality and bigger mission.

For the last one, I sent Mavericks out to journal on a final exercise and to bring back a keepsake. I went out too with my own journal. As I wandered around, I found this sign hiding in one of Joe’s barns hiding out in the back of a pick-up truck. Since the farm is used a lot for weddings so this made sense.

I used this as my own memento to bring back by taking a pic along with an auspicious silver rock I found too (you can see it under my doodle.)

I really liked the message so I drew it in my journal several “random” blank pages ahead.

I’ve had so many times that what I draw actually becomes part of a bigger insight when I finally get to that page in my journal. (This is actually one of my creative intuitive journaling techniques I love teaching.)

So last Friday I wanted some unstructured time. I blocked off my day and spent it hiking a small local mountain. I had never been here before so I wasn’t familiar with any of the trails.

On the way up, I stopped at a rock cropping to meditate and start my trek. I took out my journal and made a list of what I was grateful for on one page. I realized that page was actually 1 page away from the “happily ever after” drawing.

Interesting.

Then I continued up to to the mountain to take in a perfect Autumn view at the summit.

On the way back I got “lost” and doubled back. I missed 2 turns but somehow found my way back to the first rock outcropping.

I stopped again to meditate one more time. As I opened my eyes I was inspired to work on something else. I had been listening to Debbie Ford’s work on the topic of Shadows (the parts of ourselves we don’t want to show the world) in the car ride up. And one of the exercises was to write a letter of forgiveness to myself.

Hmmm….

A few years back I had written myself a Love letter and mailed it to myself. This was one of the hardest exercises I did — but so powerful for helping me fully love myself.

I didn’t really know what to write or where to start but this letter felt somewhat divinely inspired.

A few excerpts from my note:

“Dear Yanik –
Do you know why direct mail letters start with Dear? It’s because you are dear…dearest one.”

Trust me, I don’t normally talk to myself like that.

“You just saw 2 deer pass your path and here you are starting this releasing and forgiveness exercise at 2:22pm.”

I certainly didn’t plan that. 😉

“Instead of sending you a love letter, I am going to “embed” this note into one of your inspiring doodles.”

“You must realize you have nothing to forgive. Forgiveness means you have been wrong or acting wrong. That cannot be true. You are a perfect embodiment of light and love.”

On a deep level I believed this but still felt like I needed to keep writing to embrace every part of myself. Everything I am and am “not”.

I wrote out all those things that came to me for forgiveness…times I didn’t give 100%, not trusting I’d always be shown the right people, resources and synchronicities in the right timing, ways I’ve compared myself to colleagues and friends who seemed to accomplish more, moments when I thought more money would bring more happiness, and for not knowing before how to love myself like I do now with the practice of yoga and mindfulness, etc. These and more poured out.

Then with my left-hand I concluded with:

“You are the one you are waiting for. You are ready and you are loved & fully supported. Go fly.”

(I learned this non-dominant hand writing technique from Bill Donius. Get his book “Thought Revolution” highly recommended. This process connects you to a deeper, wiser part of yourself.)

Then finally I used Robbe Richman’s Xpill process to lock in my self forgiveness to open up to love, laughter and happily ever after (my sign).

Couldn’t have planned it any better. It all tied in so perfectly together.

We’ve come up with a term from Camp Maverick – “Synchro-Maverick-nicity”

I’d say this qualifies. ✨💚

Now I’ll throw out the same challenge for you. Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself. You might find it silly or difficult, but I promise it’ll be profound and healing.

Eclipsed

September 12, 2017 by Yanik Silver

After an incredible Camp Maverick, I woke up at 4 a.m. to catch a flight to Raleigh, NC. My wife, Missy, was kind enough to pack up the kids and drive halfway to SC to pick me up.

We got into Isle of Palms late in the afternoon to get ready for the big show the next day. The weather outlook wasn’t great at all, but I had hope. And in fact, it couldn’t have worked out better….

As the eclipse started, we got a few glimpses of the sun through the clouds. Because it was so cloudy, you could see one the greatest “cosmic coincidences”—that the moon is 1/400 the size of the sun and 1/400 the distance to the sun. It’s this amazing ratio that allows us on Earth (and actually nowhere else in the solar system) to see this galactic alignment.

Full totality started at 2:46 p.m., and just a few minutes before, the clouds actually parted, and the crowd on the beach cheered. I got to see the “diamond ring” and then total eclipse! Wow! The kids were more impressed than they thought they would be listening to Dad get excited leading up to the event.

I had seen a picture, and I was still in awe.

It seemed like this gorgeous mix of blueish and yellow-orange around the moon. And in one spot, there was a gorgeous pink area. (I found a pic of ABC news coverage in Charleston that shows this spot.)

Totality was gone too soon but was definitely an incredible moment I won’t soon forget. Plus, the symbolism of the eclipse for me is taken from different sources. Here’s the doodle I drew in my journal that day.

And I’m fully on board to use this reset as a way of diving into my deepest alignment of catalyzing the catalysts to change the way business is played….

Supposedly the energy of the eclipse lasts for 6 months or more—would love to hear what’s been showing up for you…