Yanik Silver

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66 Must-read books for Impactful Entrepreneurs

December 30, 2013 by Yanik Silver

The other day, Maverick1000 members were asking about book recommendations on our private forum. I typically read 1-2 books per week (minimum) so this forced me to sort out some top recommendations by category.

I’ve always believed your life is changed by the books you read, experiences you create and the people you meet.

Think of this as the start of your Maverick MBA with 6 of the most important categories for evolved enterprises and impactful entrepreneurs in the 21st century.

1) Success Thinking/Foundation

2) Marketing & Sales

3) Strategic Thinking & Innovation

4) Operations/Systems

5) 21st Century Orgs & Modern Entrepreneurship

6) Action & Productivity

* * *

I. Success Thinking/Foundation:

  1. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

Not really a business book but probably one of the biggest influences for top CEOs and entrepreneurs who have cited this numerous times. I’ve read this several times and even threw out calling our daughter Dagny – but Missy didn’t go for that. I loved Atlas Shrugged for instilling the philosophy that productive value should be compensated and revered instead of these individuals being coerced into self-sacrifice because of their talent and other’s “needs”. It really cemented the argument in my mind that the more laissez-faire approach to governing is ultimately best for a free marketplace and productive society. Yes, this is a thick read but well worth it.

  1. Winning Through Intimidation by Robert Ringer

I know the title of this book is a bit off putting and that’s probably why Robert renamed the latest edition. I love the way Ringer objectively looks at other people’s success advice in here. For instance, the advice of “work hard and you’ll succeed”. He asked himself what “working hard” really means since one person’s definition of working hard is a 18-hour shift while someone else might have a totally different notion. Ringer threw out typical advice like this to work on his own theories for figuring out success. Plus, there is one chapter in here “the Leapfrog theory” that is essential reading. It explodes the myth of “working your way to the top”. Basically this is a waste of time to keep the status quo. You can leapfrog over any competitors by proclaiming yourself at their same level – but you’ve got to be able to back it up with the goods. For some reason people are always waiting to be anointed the “expert” – it doesn’t happen. And Ringer’s book is packed with even more hard-hitting realities for street-smart entrepreneurs.

  1. Lead the Field By Earl Nightingale

I can’t even begin to count the times I’ve listened to these programs. Earl was really the first person who game me ‘permission’ to think and behave differently. He talks about how the top 5% of achievers don’t do the things ordinary people do and that’s why they are extraordinary. Or they are willing to do the things the other 95% aren’t willing to do (like read/listen for hours per day honing my expertise)

  1. Rich Dad’s Cashflow Quadrant by Robert Kiyosaki

A lot of people might say “Rich Dad/Poor Dad” is more influential but I would argue this second book in the series really hits the concepts explained there harder. If you’re looking for a book to shake you or someone who needs it out of the typical 9-to-5 mindset – this will do it. The Cashflow Quadrant is all about creating enough passive income to pay for your needs and truly creating financial independence. It’s a simple concept explained by Kiyosaki’s drawing depicted on the cover. On the left-hand side are the people who trade time for money. That’s the “E” or employee quadrant and the “S” or Small business quadrant. Then on the right-hand side are the people creating passive wealth by being “I” – Investors or “B” Business owners (who work on in their business not in it). While Kiyosaki’s books are pretty short on specific details – I think the philosophy and mindset is way more powerful and important.

  1. THE LAW OF SUCCESS IN SIXTEEN LESSONS by Napoleon Hill

I like this even better than the more popular Think and Grow Rich because you get the full lessons Napoleon Hill uncovered with interviews spanning 20 years with the biggest tycoons and empire builders of his time.

  1. 59 Seconds: Think a Little Change a Lot by Richard Wiseman
  1. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams by Deepak Chopra
  1. The Practice of Happiness by John Kehoe

John is not super well known but this is a great book to get you attuned to some of the most important elements in a joyful life.

  1. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Wow! This is a powerhouse of a book dealing with shame and vulnerability, something every leader needs to hear and work with.

  1. Choose Yourself by James Altucher

James is one of the most transparent and wonderfully vulnerable people I have met (and read). James has made and lost millions and he provides a valuable paradigm for anyone to get their thinking straight.

  1. Make it Big: 49 Secrets for Building a Life of Extreme Success by Frank McKinney

Frank McKinney builds mega multi-million dollar mansions on spec (meaning – no buyer before he builds). This is his first book that really shares his all encompassing philosophy for living a full life in every sense. I’ve spent extended amounts of time with Frank in Haiti helping build self-sustaining villages and Frank has immense integrity in everything he does leading from these principles.

  1. The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope

My #1 book of the last year. It’s a little (okay a lot) different than any business book because it’s about your Dharma. A Buddhist concept essentially meaning your path or truth. If you’re considering what you really should be doing with your life and how to integrate your deepest purpose and meaning into everything you do – this is the book to read. Mine is massively highlighted with notes all over.

  1. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant

I love, love, love this book! Written by a CEO of a venture backed company in Silicon Valley, it’s a totally transformative book to go from depressed and dark periods of burn out to full engaged and living at your optimal level. Try the exercises in here for big results.

II. Marketing & Sales

  1.   Influence: The psychology of persuasion by Robert Cialdini, PhD

I’ve read it at least 9 times and it will truly help you understand the psychological triggers to a sale. Very powerful stuff. Written by a self-proclaimed “sucker” and professor of psychology to help consumers avoid being taken “in” by marketers – this instantly became a classic for us marketers to apply each of the psychological tactics to success. This truly is a power that should only be harnessed for good. If I was to start at zero again and if you stripped away all the knowledge from every book I’ve read – I would start by reading this one and get it all back!

  1.   How to Make Millions with Your Ideas: An Entrepreneur’s Guide by Dan Kennedy

Yes, even though this was published in 1996 and some of the new-fangled technology sections like broadcast fax are out-of-date – this is a top ten for sure! I’ve spent probably $150k or more with Dan and every product or resource I buy from him gives me back at least a 10-to-1 return. This is one of my favorite Dan books (along with #7 on the list) but you really can’t go wrong buying any of his books. When I first stumbled onto Dan I was so excited because he finally provided more of the true ‘nuts & bolts’ I was looking for. Sure, he’s grumpy and not the most sociable guy – but his information is priceless no matter what type of business you are in

  1.   Brains on Fire: Igniting Powerful, Sustainable, Word of Mouth Movements by Robbin Phillips, Greg Cordell, Geno Church and Spike Jones

 One of my favorite newer books on creating an identity and community for the customers you serve.

  1.   Primal Branding: Create Zealots for Your Brand, Your Company, and Your Future by Patrick Hanlon
  1.   Getting Everything You Can Out of All You’ve Got: 21 Ways You Can Out-Think, Out-Perform, and Out-Earn the Competition by Jay Abraham

I like his Mr. X book a lot more, but it’s not as widely available. Jay is the very first direct marketing expert I ever encountered when I was 17 and his fundamental thinking for leverage and uncovering hidden assets is unparalleled.

  1.   Tested Advertising Methods by John Caples

An absolute classic for any direct marketer or anyone that doesn’t want to waste a dime on untrackable ads. Devour this one and also look for Caples’ other books that are out of print. A true professional who generously published his directly-traceable results for everybody to benefit from. Many people might think there’s nothing to be gained from a book written decades ago – WRONG! Everything Caples reveals applies online in spades.

  1.   Scientific Advertising by Claude Hopkins

Yes another “old time” marketing book but the gems in here are absolutely brilliant if applied today. Remember, human nature does not change – just the ways to activate our buying does. This is a short read and available online for free in many places since it’s in the public domain. Hopkins was one of the true advertising pioneers and this little guide really distills the essence of why you cannot use conjecture or opinion but actual tested, scientific methods to discover what your customers/prospects want.

  1. Magic Words that Bring You Riches by Ted Nicholas

There are 3 main people I’d give credit for opening my eyes to the enormous power of direct response marketing and helping me achieve financial independence before I was 31. And one of those is definitely Ted Nicholas. I cannot begin to tell you how many dozens of times I listened and read Ted’s material over and over again. He’s one of my all-time marketing heroes. Ted took the guts of his $197/year newsletter on direct marketing and distilled it into this single book. When I checked this morning there were a few used copies available on Amazon but you can now find it as an ebook or real book on TedNicholas.com.

  1. Pow! Right Between the Eyes: Profiting from the Power of Surprise by Andy Nulman

IF you want to create some memorable that your customers MUST talk about – this book gives you the formula. Warning: The only problem with surprise elements is you must be constantly re-inventing.

  1. The Ultimate Sales Machine by Chet Holmes

Chet a proven blueprint for creating a sales and marketing machine in your business.

  1. Double Double by Cameron Herold

Cameron built 1-800-Got Junk from $3M – $100M+ as the COO. This is the process.

  1. Predictable Revenue: Turn Your Business into a Sales Machine with the $100 Million Best Practices of Salesforce.com by Aaron Ross

Aaron Ross presents his ‘cold calling 2.0’ strategy for creating predictable and scaleable selling. This is the personal account of creating a $100M pipeline for Salesforce and multiplying yourself and your team.

  1. The Ultimate Sales letter by Dan Kennedy

Easiest to follow formula for creating sales copy (letters) that work.

  1. Advertising Secret of the Written Word – Joe Sugarman

I love Joe Sugarman’s material. He’s the first person that used 800#s to market products and he’s responsible for blockbusters like ‘Blu Blockers’. Joe is first and foremost a copywriter and you’ll get some of his best thinking on this valuable subject.

  1. Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath 
  1. Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff

A great book about creating the right ‘frame’ for having others qualify themselves and turn the tables on selling.

III. Thinking/Innovation:

  1. Blue Ocean Strategy by W. Chan Kim

Blue Ocean is a pretty easy concept to understand but difficult to implement. It can lead to some big innovations and really owning a category that you invent – but it’s imperative to combine with something like Little Bets (below).

  1. The Back of the Napkin: Solving Problems and Selling Ideas with Pictures by Dan Roam

 Even if you don’t think you’re an artist in the least, this book is a really powerful application of using simple pictures to sell.

  1. The Mind Map Book: How to Use Radiant Thinking to Maximize Your Brain’s Untapped Potential by Tony Buzan and Barry Buzan 

A good primer on using Mindmaps. One of my favorite tools for creating new ideas.

  1. Making Ideas Happen: Overcoming the Obstacles Between Vision and Reality by Scott Belsky
  1. Little Bets: How Breakthrough Ideas Emerge from Small Discoveries by Peter Sims
  1. Different: Escaping the Competitive Herd by Youngme Moon

Written by one of the most popular Harvard Business School professors, Different is exactly that. It’s a good take on how to create a competitive advantage in the marketplace by being different. Most businesses talk about being ‘different’ but so many fall into the trap becoming mediocre because they look at their competitors and try to copy some of their strengths. This only leads to being average across a bunch of different aspects instead of being unique in just 1 or 2 differentiable points. This book is a fairly easy read and not a dull, boring college textbook. And as one reviewer on Amazon said, just skip the Harvard MBA and get this book!

IV. Operations:

  1. Work the System: The Simple Mechanics of Making More and Working Less by Sam Carpenter

Excellent book by Maverick member, Sam Carpenter detailing how he went from nearly bankrupt and totally having a business out-of-control to a smoothly run ‘machine’.

  1. Get A Grip: An Entrepreneurial Fable…Your Journey to Get Real, Get Simple, and Get Results by Gino Wickman and Mike Paton

One of my favorite books that has a lot of actual application to help you work on what’s most important and get all your team members in alignment with your vision.

  1.   Mastering the Rockefeller Habits by Verne Harnish
  1. Make The Noise Go Away: The Power Of An Effective Second-In-Command by Larry G. Linn

A short but profound book on grooming a “2nd in command”.

V: 21st Century Organizations & Modern Entrepreneurship:

  1. Screw Business as Usual by Richard Branson

Richard is my biggest business hero and I’ve been privileged to spend several weeks with him on his private island. This is his manifesto for a new way of doing business and I really think there’s a tipping point that’s been reached. It’s an idea to look at new models for entrepreneurs.

  1.   4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss

Tim and I met over our love of marketing and living life to the fullest. There’s a reason this book has literally taken on a life of its own and achieved best-seller status so quickly. To me, it’s because the concepts in here are so compelling. I’ve given away a ton of copies of this book and a lot of people have actually gotten pissed at me for giving to them. One of my hockey teammates said that to me again a few nights ago. He’s gets really mad when he looks at it on the nightstand because he’s not living his life the way it could be using the ideas in this book. This book is designed to get you to stop and think if you are really putting the right things in the right priority. Tim has a concept of the “New Rich” and that’s people who have time to do the things they want & they’re passionate on. There’s some exciting concepts about life design, dumping the email habit, outsourcing and creating online “muses” that pay for it all. Tim started a revolution with this book and it’s still pertinent.

  1. Start Something that Matters by Blake Mycocskie

I love what Blake has been able to do with TOMS shoes and his buy-one, give-one program is truly a remarkable and impactful business model.

  1. Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh

Tony is incredible with what he’s been able to do with Zappos and now the Downtown Project. If you want to consider how happiness is integrated into your profitability for 21st century organizations, this is your book.

  1. Unique Ability: Creating the Life You Want by Catherine Nomura, Julia Waller, Shannon Waller

This is my absolute favorite book about simply focusing on what your unique abilities are and then bringing in others who are strong in areas that are not unique abilities. Now “Unique Ability” is different than simply finding your strengths like the book “Now Discover Your Strengths” (which is also quite good for their online test). Unique ability is not only about something that is a strength for you but something you love and that gives you more energy when you do it! Critical difference. You could have a strength but you don’t necessarily want to keep doing that activity. This book walks you the process of discovering your own unique abilities. Highly recommended. (At some point I’ll do a post just on this concept and share with you my own ‘unique ability’ statement I’ve come up with from this.) This book is put out by Dan Sullivan’s company “Strategic Coach” and they have an excellent group of other ‘knowledge’ products. If you can find it the CD set “Pure Genius” is remarkable.

  1. The Business of Happiness by Ted Leonsis

Former Underground® keynote presenter, Ted Leonsis shares his 6 secrets for building a business that increases your happiness.

  1. Conscious Capitalism: Liberating the Heroic Spirit of Business by John Mackey, Rajendra Sisodia and Bill George

All part of the ‘tipping point’ going on with business serving a higher purpose. I really like the idea of an evolving consciousness for business serving all stakeholders (customers, employees, suppliers, investors, etc).

  1. A Lapsed Anarchist’s Approach to Building a Great Business by Ari Weinzwieg

Huge thumbs up for me on this book! You must get this one from Ari’s training site (ZingTrain.com) and you’ll be absolutely impressed. One of the key books I always recommend.

  1.   PEAK by Chip Conley

One of my favorite books about creating a higher PEAK state for everybody in your organization based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

  1. The Lean Startup: How Today’s Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses… by Eric Ries

Ries has quite a following in Silicon Valley and for good reason. This book lays out an excellent methodology for ‘testing’ new business ideas and getting traction fast.

  1. Business Model Generation: A Handbook for Visionaries, Game Changers, and Challengers by Alexander Osterwalder

A really nice visual way of looking at and thinking through your business model.

  1. The Startup Owner’s Manual: The Step-By-Step Guide for Building a Great Company by Steve Blank and Bob Dorf

A really nice step-by-step guide to go from idea to roll out.

  1. Business Stripped Bare by Sir Richard Branson

The best ‘nuts and bolts’ out of any Branson book I’ve read. Plus, I love seeing some of his journal entries on the inside cover.

  1. Ready, Fire, Aim by Michael Masterson by Mark Ford
  1. Reality is Broken by Jane McGonigal

One of the best books to get you thinking about using ‘gamification’ (the hot term) to help everything in your organization.

  1. Tribal Leadership: Leveraging Natural Groups to Build a Thriving Organization by Dave Logan, John King and Halee Fischer-Wright
  1. How to Get Rich by Felix Dennis

A totally tell-it-like-it-is recap from the founder of Maxim magazine.

  1. Maverick Startup by Yanik Silver 😉

Yes, I’m biased but still makes the list.

VI: Action/Productivity:

  1. The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

The best book out there about the difference between a professional and an amateur to beat down procrastination.

  1. No B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs by Dan Kennedy

Yes, Kennedy makes the list again. Let’s face it, for entrepreneurs we’ve got no greater asset than our time. And even if you’ve read a 100 other time management books I guarantee you’ll get something out of this one. Here’s Dan’s unique & ruthless approach to time management that might give some people pause. I don’t follow all of Dan’s advice here because I’m a little too nice at times but reading this book will really let you understand that you create the rules at all times. You decide how you want customers to work with you, people to contact you, etc. Fact is, if you don’t set the rules – then someone else will for you by default.

  1. 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management by Hyrum Smith

This book has probably had one of the most profound effects on my inner values starting in 1998 when I got introduced to Hyrum’s company, now-called “Franklin Covey”. This book really made me examine what my value was and most importantly in what order should those values be. I look at them nearly every day when I get up to make sure my decisions are on track with my inner compass. This isn’t a half-hour read and then you’ve ‘got it’. I spent some time really considering what type of values and life legacy I’d like to leave. Excellent exercises

  1. The Power of Less by Leo Babauta
  1. The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz
  1. Getting Things Done by David Allen

Some people swear by this – it’s not something I always use but principles are solid

  1. Strengthfinders 2.0 by Tom Rath

This is one of the assessment tests we use when we hire new team members and work with new partners. Very insightful.

  1. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Dan Pink
  1. Rework by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Nice work from the founders of 37signals dispelling some beliefs about business.

Filed Under: Abundance, Creativity, Happiness, Impact, Public, Transformation

The Return Path to Joy, Happiness and Bliss

November 23, 2013 by Yanik Silver

The last few years I’ve struggled quite a bit with keeping myself and my businesses moving forward because of the new direction I’ve taken. The same playbook I was using before just didn’t seem like it fit me anymore.

And that’s probably good because in many ways I’ve grown as an entrepreneur and individual. (In fact, I’ll be sharing a lot of this journey in future essays.) I’ve always experimented with what provides me with more bliss, joy, confidence and a feeling of accomplishment. I have a serious stack of books in my library on the subject of happiness, philosophy and self-improvement.

Simply put, what you do each day has a compound effect on your life, your happiness and outlook.

Not surprisingly there are certain combinations that create “good” days and others that have more depressing affects. Of course, everyone has their own version but I wanted to see what universally works. For instance, some people will tell you to get up early – but that doesn’t work for everybody. I really like to sleep in especially if I played hockey the night before. But if I feel guilty because I’m “supposed” to get up at 5 or 6 am then I’m already starting off in the wrong direction. I get some of my best insights at 2 o’clock or 3 o’clock in the morning so getting up at 6 am the next morning is just not happening!

I’ve applied all 9 of the main components on this list at various times with various degrees of results – but not always in a daily way that’s been with intention or consciousness. That’s why I created my own daily checklist to help ensure I’m on the right path, and now by sharing it, I have even more accountability of making sure I ‘walk the talk’.

For a while I simply had these listed on my whiteboard as I experimented with them to see what worked.

daily checklistActually this has been in draft mode for like 4 months because I’ve been experimenting with the daily practice but not always tracking it every day. So if I wasn’t doing it perfectly, I thought I shouldn’t publish this. But that’s a bit silly because I’ve seen the more of these 9 practices I intentionally hit each day – the better my life becomes! So why wouldn’t I share it now and by doing so, it forces me to ‘walk the talk’ even more.

Beyond that checklist, I also created a simple but flexible tool that I’ll share with you at the end of this post.

From everything I’ve applied, studied, and done for the last 2 decades, I’ve put together these 9 ‘M-Power’ categories or if you’re into rhymes like “If the gloves doesn’t fit you must acquit” then go with “Divine 9”.

Don’t worry… you might not necessarily need to hit something from each grouping daily, plus some activities might fall under multiple spots. But just see what works for you and how you feel. For some people you might want a bigger focus with your attention on 1 or 2 more ‘important’ ones, and your activities will be based there. That’s cool too. Check it out for yourself and see what’s right. And don’t try to start too many key daily habits at once. (There’s a built-in mechanism in the form you’ll get for what to bring your attention to.)

Here are your nine ‘M-Power’ categories:

  1. Meaning
  2. Movement
  3. Mix
  4. Master(y)
  5. Mindfulness
  6. Mentor/Mentee
  7. Multiply
  8. Momentum
  9. Magic

Let’s dig into some detail so you get the idea and see some of the options here…

1. Meaning:

What you take meaning from nourishes you. For some people it works best to wake up and read, watch or listen to something inspirational. It could be religious, spiritual or self-development focused. Or perhaps its prayer in a traditional or non-traditional way.

One of my favorite ways to create more meaning is to recount what you are grateful or 5 minute journal pagethankful for today. There’s a cool journal called ‘5-minute journal’ that will give you a simple place each day to write down what you’re grateful for each day and night. If you don’t do journals this is a good one to start with.

I think being grateful is one of the biggest ‘secrets’ to truly being happy. It’s so important I made it a featured spot in the worksheet I’ll share with you shortly. Anytime I’m feeling down or depressed, I realize that I haven’t been paying enough attention to what I’m grateful for. Spending 5-10 minutes writing all of my blessings down gets me feeling much better. It can’t help but work because gratitude connects to the source of abundance that’s all around us instead of thinking about what you lack and giving in to scarcity.

Your meaning is directly tied to your emotions. Viktor Frankl wrote Man’s Search for Meaning giving his account for creating meaning from his imprisonment in a Nazi concentration camp. If you have not read or not read it in awhile, it’s well worth picking up. The only thing that sustained Frankl in the concentration camp (unlike so many others) was seeking meaning, wisdom and teaching from his situation. Creating a reason that something occurred gives us more strength and resilience.

Interestingly enough, I was on a flight to Johannesburg to work with Virgin Unite and then going on Safari. And sitting next to me was a gentleman who shared his story with me. He was in the ANC and was picked up for demonstrations against apartheid. Before being given any attorneys or due process, he was tortured and forced to make a confession against his friends. But when the time came for his trial he would not confess. So back into jail he went for 5 years this time. It was the same jail where Nelson Mandela spent so much time at Robben Island outside Cape Town.

My seatmate told me he could have come out 2 ways from prison. One being bitter and broken or more resolute and convinced that apartheid needed to be ended. It’s a pretty incredible story of how meaning drives our lives. His name is Luyanda Mpaphway and today he’s one of the most prominent architects in South Africa designing embassies and other iconic buildings. I asked him if he had confessed if he thought he would be where he was today and he told me flat out – ‘NO’.

My friend Chip Conley has an excellent book Emotional Equations that breaks down different emotions into these kind of mathematical formulas. Here’s one of them:

Despair = Suffering – Meaning

So as we UP our meaning there’s less despair and suffering we go through. That’s also why if you have a purpose or ‘epic goal’ then you are part of something bigger, and it gives you more meaning.

You can combine categories together too like ‘Mix’ and ‘Meaning’. Imagine how you would feel sending out a personal handwritten note to someone you are thankful to (My very first post was about the power of handwritten notes and they work in a big way!). Your meaning will soar using them and your connection will deepen.

Love is a big part of meaning. And finding ways to love yourself is so powerful. You’ve probably heard you need to start within, and in some ways I’ve practiced this incredibly well but other ways I’ve totally missed the boat. I learned long ago that I’m responsible for my own actions, activities, emotions, success, etc. I wouldn’t blame the outside world but for some reason this idea of loving yourself and feeling immense self-love never hit home until recently.

One of my favorite new books is by my friend and Silicon valley entrepreneur, Kamal Ravikant. The book is called Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. Get it on Kindle or a paperback version. It’s awesome! And for bonus extra credit points you can do a slightly ‘weird’ exercise Kamal recommends.

You set a timer for 5 minutes and look deeply and tenderly at yourself in the mirror. Repeat “I love myself” or “I love you” over and over again in a gentle meaningful way. Really look at yourself. It’s a little crazy at first but as I’ve done it more, I cannot help but get a little twinkle of playfulness in my eyes and walk away feeling great. Nobody else needs to know about it – it’s just you in the mirror.

This is just one piece – you need the whole story of how his business was crumbling and his self esteem was in the crapper. I don’t want to ruin it here. Don’t be a cheapskate – get it yourself.

The notion of loving myself and everything that entails is a central theme that landed on my front page of my most recent journal to focus on.

Another powerful piece you can incorporate into your daily practice under Meaning is forgiveness. Forgiving yourself or someone else in your life can have such a glorious response. I’ve seen some very close people to me live with anger and pain because of a supposed wrong inflicted on them. We all have ‘wrongs’ against us but the energy it takes to remain angry at someone creates a permanent bond of negativity. You’re not hurting them by keeping that anger inside.

Meaning Ideas and Examples:

  • Gratitude
  • Inspirational/Spiritual reading, studying, development
  • Prayer
  • Epic goal
  • Kindness done
  • Ritual/ceremony
  • Handwritten note to someone meaningful to you
  • Love yourself
    • 5-Minute “I love you” exercise in mirror
  • Forgive someone
  • _________<insert your own>_____________




2. Movement:

Any type of exercise no matter for how long will be beneficial. Our bodies were designed to move. I used to have a personal trainer who helped keep me accountable to a workout, but I never looked forward to it. I think there’s something more beneficial when your choice of movement is actually something you enjoy.

I play hockey 1-2 times per week and love that. It’s an awesome workout (though probably a few beers after game might negate part of it). 😉

And this past summer I’ve taken to swimming, and I’ve got my first stand-up paddle board from Underground® speaker, Stephen Aarstol’s Tower Paddle Boards, of course. (BTW – we’re coming up on our 10th anniversary celebration Underground event and if you want to attend as a VIP go here.) Also, a bit on-and-off Missy and I have done yoga. I’m a big fan of that combination of movement – intention and breath work here.

Think about what you like to do, it could be sports, exercise, dancing, walking whatever. Yes, even a walk is one of the most underrated ways to get your movement in for the day.

It doesn’t have to be super rigorous and truly anything is better than nothing. If I realize I haven’t done much movement in a day, then I will make sure I knock out some push-ups before bed or maybe a few pull-ups. Anything helps. (Actually here’s a cool article on a 7-minute scientifically proven routine with only your body weight.

Movement Ideas and Examples:

  • Yoga
  • Tai Chi
  • Sports
  • Athletics
  • Dancing
  • Stretching
  • Walking
  • ________<insert yours>_______________


3. Mix

We crave variety and connection – these are two main factors of the MIX category. A new or unique experience will light up the brain and actually cause it to rewire with new connections. Your ‘Mix’ daily practice could be anything from a new way to head to work to trying a new restaurant. Or get even bolder. Think about what you can experiment with or try that you haven’t done yet. Go skydiving, go scuba diving, go do something interesting. (I put together a little ebook on creating your Ultimate Life List if you need some more inspiration.)  Positive psychology has proven there is more long-term joy in experiences than just buying another ‘thing’.  You might desire a thing but experiences always create more happiness.

Or what about something that scares you? Think what it would look like if you tested your own boundaries repeatedly? It doesn’t have to be anything big. One of my mentors, Frank McKinney, told me he will get his daughter to do something wild like run the opposite way on the moving people mover at the airport for 5 bucks.

Another side of ‘Mix’ is the idea of mixing with others and connecting. We’re social creatures and the more you can create connections that matter with your family, lover, children, colleagues, friends and social groups – the happier you’ll be. And I’m not talking about cursory Facebook connections. Even though we’re in an increasingly digital world- it’s the real-world, deeper connections that truly matter.

You can foster a deeper connection by really engaging with others who are meaningful to you. It could be through a phone call, long lunch or a thoughtful gesture.

Mix Ideas and Examples:

  • New Experiences
  • Something Scary
  • Something Different
  • Connections
    • Creating a Dinner Party
    • Thoughtful gesture
    • Introducing People Together (professional or personal)
    • Meaningful conversations (i.e. talking on phone with friend and really listening for 30 min. Asking deeper questions, etc.)
  • ________<insert yours>_______________


4. Master(y):

I named this category Master(y) because there’s Mastery and Master. The latter is about mastering yourself. That means carving out time for yourself for what you love to do or what nourishes your soul. It might also mean saying ‘NO’ more often or honoring yourself by having ‘difficult’ conversations. Give yourself credit for doing these things that add more to your integrity and self worth.

Every time you are inauthentic and say ‘yes’ to something you know you should really not – you lose a little bit of yourself along the way. It’s like an energy leak that deflates you. Conversely when you start dictating what you will and will not do – you gain more of it. What can you say ‘NO’ to today that is not in line with yourself? Or sometimes even better yet – WHO should you cut out of your life? Sometimes that’s a tough question but will drive your happiness.

Or maybe it’s making that call you dread. Firing that team member you know that has to go, etc. If there’s something that really scares you – do it!

Adding the ‘Y’ to the end of the root word is Mastery and the opportunity to build yourself up over time.

If you are growing and learning each day, that sets you on the right path where you feel like you’re developing. Personally, I love to read and learn something new each day. I’ll go through at least a book a week on various topics.

One of my first mentors, Earl Nightingale, taught me (through his books and recordings) that if you want to become an expert in any subject simply read/study for 1 hour per day for 3 years. Or to become a world-class expert read and study for 1 hour per day for 5 years. I never forgot that and took it to heart with copywriting and direct response as the first skill sets I mastered.

We have so many easy opportunities for learning and growth. There are a ton of videos and educational materials online. Get the Swift app for your iPad and you can play videos at up to 2x speed to cruise through even more stuff, i.e. TED.com presentations.

But mastery goes beyond simply skill sets – there are more applications…

Create easy daily habits to develop your mastery muscle. Even something as simple as making your bed counts. I’ve never made my bed for years, either Missy did it or I simply left it unmade. (I mean why bother since you’re getting right back in it that night?) But after a entrepreneurial monk named Dandapani at my friend Jayson Gaignard’s MasterMind Talks event – I have committed to making my bed each morning. It sounds a little dumb but there’s power here. Your daily habits could be as simple as flossing your teeth each day. Set yourself up with daily habits that empower you.

Hopefully these 9 categories will be part of your daily habits also. (btw – when you check out the first draft of the worksheet at the bottom of this page there’s a way to track your most important daily habit you’re focusing on and create a 21-day streak.)

Master(y) Ideas and Examples:

  • Saying ‘No’
  • Having a difficult conversation
  • Time for yourself
  • Growth & Learning
    • New language
    • New skill
    • Reading, classes, workshops, etc.
  • New positive habit
  • ________<insert yours>_______________


5. Mindfulness:

The biggest part about mindfulness is your intention. It’s the difference between actively engaging and manifesting what is around you or simply letting things happen to you by default. Now don’t get me wrong, there are many times I prefer to be in ‘flow’ moments where I see what happens next or let my intuition guide me – but that’s happens with mindfulness too. (I know it seems circular but it’ll make sense.) The fact is, your intuition only speaks in the quiet space in between your mind chatter. It’s these ‘flow’ opportunities that are created from simply ‘being’ mindful and aware.

Part of my deeper voice has kept bringing up these daily activities and now by writing about, it I am forced to directly bring them into the forefront of my consciousness.

Think about something you do everyday. Do you set an intention for your day? Do you create a conscious decision about what you will or will not eat? Or if there are a bunch of M&Ms sitting around – will you snack on them? What about your intention for drinking (alcoholic or non-alcoholic drinks), how you sleep, what you listen to, watch, etc.?

What about what you watch on TV? I get the least satisfaction when I mindlessly flip through channels sometimes on the couch to ‘chill out’. It doesn’t actually work. But when I sit down to watch a show or a movie with intention there’s much more satisfaction.

Mindfulness can be derived from traditional or non-traditional meditation practices. For example, a really intense ski run has a meditative quality to it since you have to be in the present. It’s really about cultivating that stillness and presence in the now that opens up that inner voice of knowing. It’s being in the moment.

Your mindfulness could also be visualizing or imagining the future in a vivid way in your mind or in your journal. In fact, your journal is one of the most important pieces of your daily return path. We’ve already covered gratitude and we’ll get to Momentum & positive progress as big spots for journaling. Another positive activity that’s been scientifically proven to make you happier is expressive writing. You see, writing automatically creates a ‘beginning, middle and end’ instead of everything swirling around in your head. (I have an entire blog post on journal writing on my old Internet Lifestlye blog.)

Your mindfulness can be found in the language you use, whether it’s empowering affirmations or thought-provoking questions. Questions are some of my favorite ways of creating bigger new ways of thinking.

I think questions dictate your answers and the more powerful questions you ask the better the answers are in life and business.

In Robert Kiyosaki’s best-selling, Rich Dad, Poor Dad series one of my favorite distinctions was revealing. Kiyosaki tells of his “Poor Dad” looking at a beautiful stretch of beach and saying, “I can never afford to live here.” And conversely his “Rich Dad” looking at the same stretch and saying, “How can I build something here?”

It’s the questions that open you up to all sorts of possibilities instead of simply saying “I can’t afford it” and closing down that conversation in your head. Our minds want to search for answers.

I like writing down my question on the top of a piece of paper or my journal and then working on multiple answers. Most times the first answers you get will be pretty pedestrian and won’t have much creativity to them. Keep pushing yourself to come up with more distinctions and sometimes even wilder answers. Don’t censor yourself either – just write. Or if you really want to go deeper use your non-dominant hand to answer. (Seriously! You can read about why this works in my friend Bill Donius book Thought Revolution: How to Unlock Your Inner Genius)

Check out Mindful.org for other ideas for incorporating mindfulness into your daily practice.

Mindfulness Ideas and Examples:

  • Meditate
  • Awareness of language
  • Intention for food, drinking, etc.
  • Stillness
  • Being in the now
  • Flow
  • ________<insert yours>_______________


6. Mentor/Mentee:

Originally this was only Mentor but this missed the natural state of giving AND receiving.

Mentoring is taken here in a broad sense as teaching or sharing or serving. Humans are naturally wired to increase their happiness by being of service to others. You’ve probably noticed this any time you’ve helped someone.

This could be anything from volunteering your time or your skill sets. (Actually the new 3% Forward Initiative is all about getting entrepreneurs to pledge 3% of their time, talents and brainpower to create an impact.) There are all kinds of sites to help connect you to organizations that can use your skill sets. (We list 30+ inside 3% Forward)

In Jane McGonigal’s groundbreaking book Reality Is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the Worldshe describes gamers getting intense pleasure from teaching others what they’ve learned.

And if all of this is not reason enough, by teaching something we get better at the process or skill ourselves. It moves from an unconsciously competent level to a more consciously competent level.

These mentor type opportunities can be found daily if you look for them or are aware of them. With my kids, I look for ways to incorporate a value lesson in some way that’s not preachy but simply part of our everyday lives, conversations or even part of some sort of game. We’ve been playing Cashflow for Kids game, and that provides ample conversation time about passive income versus working at a job.

Another mentor-like opportunity you can become aware of for your day is to do a kind or generous deed. Maybe you’re traveling and it’s helping someone put their bag in the overhead bin or handing it down to them. Counts in my book.

Or maybe something a little more fun. Go through a tollbooth and pay for the driver behind you. It’s interesting to have the driver catch up to thank you or simply be puzzled about why you did that. What about sticking a quarter into an expired meter? Or even cooler put a hidden dollar somewhere. (There’s a whole site dedicated to ideas about how to do this – http://giveawayadollaraday.com/)

Recently at the beach, we were waiting in a long line for the Haunted House ride and I was talking to a few teenage girls behind our family. They seemed really nice and they were visiting the beach for one day so I simply paid for their ride without them knowing. They didn’t thank me afterwards but it didn’t matter. It was the act itself not the recognition that drives happiness. I wasn’t attached to their reaction.

Now let’s talk about the flip side – being a Mentee.

For me, giving has always come easier but I’ve come realize that by not receiving I’m cutting off the natural flow.  The best example I heard from someone (and I wish I could remember who) is by not receiving it’s like you are holding your breath and not breathing in. Got it. Makes perfect sense after that.

By receiving we also allow others to be mentors and give. Surprisingly (or maybe not) people appreciate helping when you ask for help or even providing a favor and being able to help you. Benjamin Franklin talks about this quirk of human nature in his autobiography describing someone he couldn’t stand. But by asking for favors, they developed a relationship. I just wasn’t good at asking before. Now knowing it’s all interconnected, I’m asking more and more for exactly what I need help with.

Mentor/Mentee Ideas and Examples:

  • Ask for help, favor, assistance
  • Give
  • Volunteer
  • Mentor
  • Teach
  • ________<insert yours>_______________


7. Multiply:

Multiply is all about the art of creation and not simply being a passive consumer. The fact is all of us are creative but might not recognize it if we are not in traditionally ‘creative’ roles. I assure you – you’re still creative.

For me, I’ve found that writing in the morning gives me a powerful feeling of accomplishment. On days I write I’m much happier and feel like I’ve been proactive. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece, it just needs to be something.

You don’t even need to label yourself an artist, craftsman, writer or musician but if those things engage you – let them out. Don’t let your inner critic judge. When I taught copywriting to others I always talked about the inner critic and how hard it is to write good copy (or really anything) when you have this little voice telling you something sucks.

You CANNOT create and edit at the same time.

It’s much better to create in a white-hot intensity and then edit. Don’t just create when you are inspired to. One of my favorite ‘hacks’ is to set up a timer – the great copywriter Eugene Schwartz used to write in 33-minute focused spurts. After the 33 minutes were up he would take a break for 10-15 min. and let his mind go wherever it wanted. Then he’d be back again doing this cycle 6 times in total each day. (BTW – Eugene Schwartz was one of the absolute highest paid copywriters in the world!)

Remember Mastery? This all interrelates so create or multiply daily!

The big point is I want you to think about how you can produce instead of just consuming. You get so much more confidence and joy out of producing something of your own (i.e. a mash-up, scrap book, etc) than simply consuming whatever someone else feeds to you.

What’s more, under the Multiply category other things that fit are coming up with new ideas and solutions to problems. You can stretch your brain and come up with ’10 ideas’ for just about anything. Give yourself a focused task and a focusing question (yes, questions again),

ie. “Who else has more to gain than I do from succeeding?”

“What can I do to add 10x-100x in value to my customers?”

You can start with a notepad and simply write out questions (the more defined the better) for solutions to issues you’re going through. Don’t stop at the first answers. Keep going. As a side note, your brain will continue working on questions and problems for you to make sure you have something to capture those ideas as you come up with them all the time. Don’t think you’ll remember it later on. You won’t.

And finally another definition of ‘multiply’ is from the biblical ‘Be fruitful and multiply’ passage. Having a loving relationship with a significant partner or fulfilling sexual desires in a positive way earns a check box in this category too. 😉

Multiply Ideas and Examples:

  • Creating (art, writing, music, photography, scrap book, anything really)
  • Planting seeds (metaphorically or physically)
  • Producing
  • Develop something
  • Brainstorming
  • New Ideas
  • Sexual connection
  • ________<insert yours>_______________


8. Momentum:

There’s tremendous energy by tapping into where your momentum is, whether that’s in your business or personal life. Haven’t you always noticed when things are going ‘right’ then it just gets better and better? Or you’re more confident and feeling even luckier like things are falling into place? Exactly! Well part of the daily practice is to recognize the positive progress so you can activate the virtuous upward spiral. Similar to being grateful, this is about actively making sure you identify where you are moving forward.

Dan Sullivan of Strategic Coach explains that people being disappointed because they cannot reach their “ideal”.

Dan gives the example of the horizon. We all know it’s silly to think we can ever reach the horizon because it keeps moving as we move closer to it. Same with an “ideal”. We feel despondent and maybe even depressed in our greatest victories if we attempt to measure them up to our ultimate ideals. But the people who are happiest are the ones of take stock of where they are today (Point B) than when they started (Point A). And we can all look back and gain that confidence and awe of how far we’ve come.

Each day taking a measure of where you are versus where you started is a powerful way to avoid the “Gap” as Dan calls it.

Your momentum also comes from following what you’re excited about and have passion to do. Lately I’ve been waking up excited to write about something that might scare me for this new blog. I’ve committed to more vulnerability and authenticity. It’s a little frightening but also empowering since the last few years I’ve been almost ‘re-building’ who I am and what I’m all about through my journal. Now it’s time to share some of that insight for other impactful entrepreneurs.

(I’ve been inspired by James Altucher who I’ve shared the stage with at a private event in NYC with Michael Ellsberg. He really writes from his heart with an authentic voice. You’ll see even more of that here even if it’s some ‘weird’ stuff.)

Your energy and passion for a project or idea is your intuitive nudge giving you a guidepost to more happiness and joy. It’s too easy to justify things you don’t want to do. Imagine if you didn’t.

Momentum also comes from completing tasks – at least the right ones.

Back to Dan Sullivan again.

Dan sets up his days that he only has 3 things to accomplish. That’s it. If he gets more done that’s a bonus – but 3 important things. There’s tremendous momentum from checking an item off your list, especially if its something proactive and moves you forward. Conversely you need to look at what’s on your to-do list. Some things just need to be removed forever and again there’s powerful progress here by deleting.

You’ll also get a positive charge out of completing important tasks that may have been left undone. Many times it’s as simple as just doing whatever the next small step is and that creates the momentum you need to complete the task. I remember, I hating mowing the lawn as a kid so if I just tricked myself into putting on my ‘green’ shoes, I was already closer to getting it done.

And one more thing on momentum is feedback. You need to make sure there are feedback loops for you. And the tighter the time period – the more motivated you’ll be as the feedback gets better. (i.e. having daily metrics or this ‘Daily 9’ checked off each night.)

9. Magic:

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”             – Albert Einstein

Imagine that you believed and saw the magic in your everyday life or simply created it. How much more spectacular would your life be each day? It can be something as simple as just laughing. Whether that’s laughing over dinner with friends, watching a comedy or practicing ‘laugh yoga’.

One of the most overlooked things to try is surprising others. I get such a kick out of doing something (even little) that makes someone else really happy and excited. I once ‘hi-jacked’ my Dad and made him drive me to the airport. When we got there he was given surprise flight lessons by my pilot buddy on my hockey team. He had been wanting to take up flying forever but my stepmother told him it was only for ‘crazy’ people like me.

Bringing something fun to your life nourishes you and you can do it in big ways or just small unexpected ways. (See my post about adding a little bit more fun to everyday occurrences)

And finally in another type of magical sense is finding all sorts of amazing synchronistic patterns, events and meaningful “coincidences”.  (That’ll be another post for another day.) But if you are open to it – it’s fascinating to see what pops up in new ways that cannot be an accident.

I’d love to know how you apply these.

If you have other ones you think I missed or maybe should be added. Let me know.

To help you keep track of your days, I created a little 1-pager PDF you can download, copy, share, etc. It’s pretty simple but gets the job done.  (Download here)

Return Path 1-pager

Worksheet 2

Worksheet Instructions:

In the morning, I’d start with what I’m grateful for and fill that section out. Then see if you can hit 3 things during each of the parts of the day. Just write in which one it is. i.e.

M __ovement____ and then what you did.

close up worksheetNow the hearts and the stars are places to keep track of 2 cool things.

The heart is there if it’s something you’re really proud of, something that really moved you or something that’s ‘harder’ to do. i.e. write a handwritten thank you note to someone you care about and mail it. As you go back and track which activities you give yourself a heart for – you’ll see patterns. And those could then become the habit you want to continue doing for a 21-day pattern (the stars) and see if you can truly incorporate that into your life.

The star is something you accomplished that’s part of your 21-day habit/streak you’re working on. It’s a lot harder to work on multiple ones so just focus one star activity for 21-days straight. Use the 21-day streak section to keep a running tally of where you are on that streak.

And then at the bottom of the worksheet, give yourself credit for what forward progress you made today.

Ok I’m really interested in your feedback here because it’ll make the worksheet and the process even better. So please share with me what’s working and what’s not.


Filed Under: Abundance, Happiness, Public, Transformation

The NEW Way to Better Goal Setting and is 40 is the New 20?

October 24, 2013 by Yanik Silver

Lordy…Lordy guess who’s 40?

Yup…yours truly.

Missy has been waiting for this day for awhile since she’s 2 ½ years older. She thought it would never come but I’m officially in my fourth decade. Several of my friends have asked me how 40 is, and I’m pleased to say I’m truly happier and more content than ever.

I feel like I know myself better than ever and have done quite a bit of work in that area in the last 2 years. Part of it has really been digging into what makes me happy and what I was meant to do here.

The picture I posted is part of a quote from Joseph Campbell.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”

Campbell was a mythology expert and author of the Hero with 1,000 faces, studying the “Hero’s Journey” and how in a multitude of cultures this hero’s story is played out over and over again.

I ‘found’ that door coincidentally in the restaurant a group of Mavericks commandeered following part of my birthday celebration. It’s a great piece of art and it showed up just as I’ve been studying Campbell’s material more intently. (I wrote a little bit about the Hero’s journey in the last post about the 22 excuses for playing small.) I always love when things like this happen into my life just at the right time or wherever my attention has been. There’s certainly something more going on than we realize.

And that’s partly what I want to share a bit about here…

If we go back to the focus of attention I was just talking about – goal setting for many people is focused attention on their intended course. You’ve probably been taught all sorts of things about goal setting. Throughout the last 20 or so years when I became a student of success traits, I’ve tried a lot of different experiments. I remember my first time being really exposed to goal setting was at a Brian Tracy seminar. I think I was probably 22 or so at the time and Brian had us write out our 10 most important goals we truly wanted. I can’t remember all 10, but I remember one of the goals was buying a Mercedes SLK.

Interestingly enough I misplaced that workbook and found it a few years later. I think something like 7 out of 10 of the goals were hit, though the more interesting thing was, most were even “better”. For example, I had made more income and I ended up getting a much cooler Mercedes – SL55 AMG.

Seeing how that came together, I then changed up how I wrote my goals to add the words “or better”, “or sooner”, “or more” thus giving myself more flexibility around what I was working toward.

 The New Way to Better Goal Setting

But most recently I really feel like I have an even better method that strikes to the heart of what I really, really want.

A few years back in my journal I wrote out what my ideal day was like when I was 40. I wrote out some specifics about net worth, the car I was driving, what I was doing that day, etc. Trying to really capture my ideal, perfect day for when I was 40. A few weeks before my birthday I went back and found that entry and at first glance I didn’t really hit that many of the specific goals.

I told Missy about the entry and after seeing what I wrote, she asked if I was upset that it wasn’t quite here. I thought about it and said, ‘no’. And that’s because the essence of the goals were there and even exceeded.

For instance, instead of driving a specific car – I would rather figure out what is the essence behind the car I want. It’s about having joy and satisfaction from driving it, and something that reflects a bit of my fun-loving spirit. So instead of writing I want a Fisker Karma as I had indicated, it’s leaving it open but focused on those previous criteria. (Interestingly enough I wouldn’t want a Fisker on my 40th with all the issues they had.)

And the dollar amount I wrote in my journal was I wanted $2M in profits coming in from various business ventures per year. But what’s the real essence behind that? It’s the freedom to work on what you want, with whom you please and on what gets you excited!

I don’t need 2 million a year to have that and you wouldn’t either. I already have the essence of that goal. It’s just about creating enough freedom from passive income or designing your business to support your most important contributions.

A few more specific items included the dollar amounts of giving, number of young entrepreneurs and start-ups we’ve helped, and a Maverick gala. Sometimes those goals that still match up your deep passion are coming. It’s just not in the right time but like a train coming down the tracks – you know it’s coming. For instance, I didn’t hit the $5M in charity contributions in my goals, but we are at over $1.2M and growing so the momentum is building. And once again the essence is there with or without the specific dollar amount.

The requests most of us make are for things (better car, bigger house, etc.). Those are not at the same level as requests that come from your heart and a deeper place.

“Learning to receive is learning to ask for the essence of what you want, rather than the form” – Sanaya Roma, author “Living with Joy”

Each year on my birthday I usually make a list of accomplishments from the previous year. In my journal, I wrote that in the previous year (my 39th) I had gone up into space on Virgin Galactic. Well…that timing is not of my own doing so it’s still happening and I can continue savoring the anticipation.

Coincidentally, Virgin Galactic threw a 400+ person party on my 40th birthday. They had a big ‘Behind the Hanger Doors’ event in Mojave right on September 25th so a perfect excuse to take my birthday on the road.

400+ well wishers for my birthday…or maybe they showed up for the rocket

400+ well wishers for my birthday…or maybe they showed up for the rocket

 

Sophia doing her best impression of the flying Galactic lady on Spaceship2

Sophia doing her best impression of the flying Galactic lady on Spaceship2

Richard Branson had factored into my journal entry about my 40th but it appeared in a bigger way than what I thought about. I wrote “In a few weeks the family is going to Necker Island again with Maverick members and Richard. It’s become a yearly tradition since 2011 when they first came. I was just reminded of the trip because Richard sent over a wonderful surprise gift for my birthday.”

Once again we’re blessed to be heading out to Necker with the whole family in March 2014, and it has become a family tradition. Richard did send over a surprise birthday gift in a personal video that was pretty funny. But even better, I got to see him on my birthday for the Virgin Galactic event and roughly a week later on Safari with Richard in South Africa. Amazing!

(I’ll have some interesting recaps from South Africa in another post.)

Sophia (who heads up our incredible events for Maverick) and my wife, Missy, had their hand in quite a few surprises lined up for me in LA. I actually like surprises since I’m frequently involved in planning them for others and for Maverick members – so I enjoyed not prying and letting it play out.

The first night we arrived late in LA, Missy and I joined an old high school friend of hers in his yoga studio for kirtan chanting. If you’re around the LA area or Santa Monica drop into Govindas’ Bhakti Yoga Shala studio.

If you’ve never done kirtan – it’s worth trying. Essentially a wonderful experience of sacred singing, repeating and chanting with tremendous group energy. Afterwards, we went to dinner at a delicious restaurant in Santa Monica, Tar & Roses. The pork chicarones on the menu is frickin’ amazing! I’ve been working on mindful eating to really savor each flavor, texture and scent of my meals. I don’t always do it since sometimes we’re just too busy and wolf down our meals without thinking, but at times when I do pay attention I enjoy my food so much more.

This dish really deserved it. Yes, it was that good that it deserves a picture here:

Tar & Roses Pork Chicarones

Using the little mini wooden skewers with cubes of pork, just the right amount of crispiness and moistness. Then the black mission fig to add the sweetness and a pickled pearl onion. Like I said amazing! Even Missy, who doesn’t like pork, enjoyed this dish.

The next morning more of the surprises started up. Sophia had arranged for about 35 or so different Maverick members and friends to show up at various times during the day and for different parts of the event. I first saw Robert Hirsch waiting for me in the lobby with my first scavenger hunt clue. And then heading out to the parking lot was Sara Roy and our video biographer, Alex. Something’s up – but I’m playing along.

We have to battle LA traffic to head from Beverly Hills to Santa Monica for our first set of clues taking us to the 3rd Street Promenade. Anytime there’s a Maverick(esque) event you don’t know who is a random bystander, an actor or willing participant. I got a great impromptu ‘Happy Birthday’ song and dance from (I think) a maintenance guy strolling along. But that kind of interesting stuff frequently happens to me.

One of my favorite missions was to convince a bartender to hand off the reigns of the tap and let someone from our group tend bar for a bit. I was pouring some of the poorest pours I’d see in quite a bit. Lots of foam and not much beer, definitely one of those “don’t quit your day job moments”. I was giving out free drinks to the 4 patrons there at lunch on me and one guy wouldn’t take a free Goose Island beer because I asked him to honk like a goose first. He paid and quickly got out of there.

We got bonus points if there was something a bit unusual or daring as part of this mission, so I laid out on the bar for an upside down beer swill from the tap. Elegant!

After a bit more mischief we ended up on the Santa Monica pier awaiting the next rendezvous. We played a few carnival games to pass the time and I have no idea what I’d do with a gigantic stuffed animal, but they are so compelling to play for.

As I was tossing rings onto the jugs, a small contingent of ‘things’ in all-green, head-to-toe spandex suits comes out from the corner.

Green Man

You can just see parents immediately grab their children’s’ hands and usher them away from these crazies. They kidnapped me and took me down below the boardwalk where a big group of Mavericks were waiting to celebrate with me.

That night more surprise guests showed up for dinner and then we moved into a private library room for drinks and a video. Sophia has compiled together 40 well wishes from friends, family and colleagues. Watching these videos made me realize how much of an impact I’d had on so many different people. It was actually a bit overwhelming and humbling. Really moving. In fact, one of my buddies came up to me afterwards and said, “I need to really start living my life the way you do – you are an inspiration to me.”

Having a video like that was one of the most meaningful things I could receive. And the other gifts had thought behind them too. I don’t need big things – I’m more interested in the why behind them.

Really I’ve been enjoying the feeling of love like this…

Kevin With Glasses  Ladies With Glasses

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cloe With Glasses

At 40 my life has become one big adventure, and that’s way it should be. Life reveals itself through whimsy and play, if we let it. And everything seems to happen in the perfect time. As I mentioned, I’m more content and happier than ever. I really understand myself on a deeper level, and I’m ready to enter the next chapter of my life. I’m hoping many of you will be on that journey with me, to uncover our biggest contribution yet, in an interconnected Destiny of Greatness.

Filed Under: Abundance, Adventure & Experiences, Happiness, Public, Transformation

Freeing your Inner Child to Unleash More Joy, Happiness and Creativity

July 19, 2013 by Yanik Silver

fullmoon

What is it about “adults” that some of them (notice I didn’t say “us”) get so tied up in being “grown up”?

Each year I co-host an Impact trip to Haiti with Maverick member, Doug Doebler and one of my mentors, mega real estate entrepreneur and philanthropist, Frank McKinney.

We take a group of Mavericks, entrepreneurs, leaders and other extraordinary individuals who each donate the cost of a house to be built. We immerse ourselves in the culture and work going on to help transform the country including working with some of the local micro-entrepreneurs in the region. (For more about Caring House Project’s work, please visit the site.)

So this year before I left, my wife Missy asks, “Are you excited about the Haiti trip?”

Hmm… it’s hard to say you’re excited going to the world’s poorest country but I was certainly looking forward to it. Every time it’s a bit different and this was my third time there. Each year I walk away with new insights. Whether it’s from the Haitian people I meet, off-hand conversations or a totally unique and meaningful experience.

Keeping Your Inner Child Alive

Last year one of my favorite parts of our Maverick Impact trip was seeing Frank climb to the top of our bus and start tossing a basketball 20+ ft in the air to a horde of children trying to catch it. There were a few who got bonked on the head but it was all part of the fun.

I’m always pretty playful by nature but this gave me “permission” to really step up.

So this year I knew just what to do…

Our first stop on this trip was a new orphanage run by Hope to Haiti and our guide, Scott Bonnell. This year we had an expanded amount of time to spend with the kids. After a bit of a welcome and engagement, we got into action.

I climbed up on the top of our bus with fellow Maverick, Ben Roy, and we started throwing out all sorts of footballs, bouncy balls, etc from the toys we brought.

The kids went crazy!

We played with the kids at the orphanage for hours. Soccer, Frisbee, whatever.  It was great to lose ourselves in that play – it’s an example of the universality of kids everywhere. They simply want to play, laugh, have fun and get some of your attention. Our guide, Scott Bonnell, said many of the visitors are older so they don’t play with the kids.

“Yukking” it up with a new friend

“Yukking” it up with a new friend

The kids just being kids playing football

The kids just being kids playing football.

Frank and I had a conversation about that while heading back to the bus and it was one of the topics in our evening reflection.

On our walk back to the vans from the orphanage he said, “You can really tell if someone has let their inner child die or go dormant. You can just look into their eyes and know if that little boy or little girl is not there anymore. And it’s a shame…”

I couldn’t agree more.

It’s certainly easy to lose that inner child, but once it goes dormant or dies, you also lose that creativity and spark for life. Frank believes he can look into the eyes of an audience or a person and see if that little boy or girl isn’t in there anymore. I think “adults” get so tied up in being grown ups – it’s easy to lose the playful, fun side. That’s definitely part of the entire ethos of Maverick:  to keep that inner child going strong!

Being present

Even though I went full-out in playing with the kids, I realized I wasn’t stretching that much of my comfort zone. Playing for me is pretty easy. That’s my nature and I love it, but I wanted to experience something even deeper if possible. The first night at our reflection, one of the attendees mentioned how he cried when an orphan put his head on his shoulder. I do my fair share of high-fiving and things of that nature, but never have a really deep and meaningful one-on-one.

The next morning I was mindful and attentive of what I wanted to be open to.

We trekked out to the opening of a new village that Caring House and Mavericks had contributed to. The villagers welcomed us with big hugs and warm greetings. There were 50 concrete houses built and a community center. Everybody dispersed and did their own thing for awhile.

There was music playing and that was my opening…

There was a grandmother dancing by herself in complete joy and just enjoying the moment. I’m not normally a dancer but I realized the less I care about how I look, the better I dance (or I keep telling myself that anyway). I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes and started dancing. We did a few twirls and then I simply watched to follow some of her steps. At this point I’d usually be looking around to see if anybody was watching and I might do something a little bit goofy or silly. But this was just for her and I.  I didn’t care who watched or what else was going on. It was really a sublime moment and I loved it!

I don’t even think there is a picture of it (I wish there was), but I didn’t do it for the photo opp. I did it to authentically connect in a different way than I might normally do things.

Later one of our translators told us that the grandmother was doing the wedding dance with me – so she was having some fun with me!

That was a breakthrough for me because one of the important things I’ve been working on this year is being present in the moment. Too much of any strength can actually turn into a weakness (i.e. flipside of the coin). I have a strong “identity” tied up and attached to being fun. At the worst, this can turn you into a character playing a role.

There’s a personality profiling system called the Enneagram.  I’m a type 7, known as “The Enthusiast” profile.

The healthiest part of that personality type is being joyfully content and grateful for the abundance of things experienced. We’re bold, vivacious, spontaneous and pursue life’s adventure.  In the unhealthier version of this personality – we are always scattered and leaving unfinished projects and ideas in our wake.

Now part of that personality type is “stirring the pot” and getting the energy going. I’ve always said that I like to instigate the instigators. But I’ve noticed when I do it for myself, there’s a great sense of joy versus looking for a reaction from anyone else.  There is fun there too, but not if it’s done just for others.

Cold and Crazy

A few months ago in Sweden (the same Maverick trip where we had the mission conversation I wrote about in the last post) all of this really came forward for me.

The Ice Hotel has been on my Ultimate Life List ever since I heard about the remarkable “hotel” where you get to sleep in a balmy -5° and everything is built from snow and ice each year.

Nearly all the Mavericks that came enjoyed sleeping in an ornate and totally unique art suite created by artists from all over the world. Each suite has an entirely different design and look with amazing sculptures and other cool features. My art suite was called “Cold and Crazy” which was pretty perfect for me at the moment.

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It was a beautifully whimsical expression of the fun and joy associated with snow and ice. Here’s the official photo from the Ice Hotel’s website:

cold-and-crazy

snowman-miniI had multiple snowmen in my room with different designs.  My favorite was one I could pop behind and stick my head into so it looked like I was a snowman.

As a kid I always loved the snow but then as an adult, sometimes you no longer have that same sense of awe and wonderfulness that comes with snow days. As an adult, it’s making sure the driveway gets shoveled and the kids are dressed warm and dealing with boots, snow clothes, etc. etc.

Even I need that reminder sometimes…so I got the message when I saw Mavericks, Mykola and Tatiana Latansky pushing each other into snowdrifts while walking home from the restaurant.

That sense of fun and goofiness is something at the center of my being and this experience was a perfect way to re-connect to part of my core essence. That’s why I loved the name of the room “Cold and Crazy” – I couldn’t have picked a better room for myself. It almost doesn’t matter what your surroundings are. If you are stuck in your head thinking about something else – you are not enjoying that moment and not experiencing the joy you’re meant to have here.

Now you might wonder about what it was like to sleep there. Basically you are sleeping on a big block of ice with a mattress and a reindeer pelt on top. You crawl up into a sub-zero sleeping bag – everything really isn’t so bad except for any part not covered. My nose was freezing and the tip stayed red for a few days so I was slightly worried, but all was good. I woke up at 4am and had to pee. Then it was decision time. It’s pretty hard to continue sleeping when you really need to go, but then again, it was so damn cold! I got my boots on and stomped over to the warm section of the hotel to go to the bathroom. Once I got back to my room, I couldn’t sleep again so I simply hung out in my room, journaled and appreciated the intricate work these artists did in my suite.

Here’s a quick video I filmed of my room:

My “wake up” call came at 7am and she told me I was the only person who she has ever walked in on that was wide awake for the hot lingonberry cocktail. (Side note: lingonberries definitely seem to be placed in just about everything over there!)

I think you can discover your own sense of fun (done for you) but that also spreads to others – that’s when it’s infectious and wonderful! If you’ve attended the Underground® seminar, you know we add a few surprises and sometimes silly components. (Note: next year is the 10th anniversary of Underground and a big celebration year so it’s worth registering early!)

This past year we used the Inspector Gadget theme and had the stage created so that there was a chair that mechanically turned around and the evil Dr. Claw and his cat would tell the speakers to do something. It would give them silly instructions to find a hidden window behind the set. We had different things lined up like notes to read to the audience, random objects and even silly string. We also had a bunch of steam and smoke we could blow up on stage to screw with some of our ADHD speakers.

We also created a ‘flash mob’ of sorts for one of the Maverick’s speaking, Joey Coleman. I had all these over-sized ‘Joey’ head cutouts created. Here’s Zoe modeling one:

Zoebighead

A few moments into Joey’s presentation, all of the lights went out so he thought there was something wrong. Then the song Cotton Eyed Joe(y) started playing and fellow Mavericks rushed the stage. Here’s the pic I snapped of the chaos:

flashmob
Ha!

Funny enough, in the comments and surveys we did after the event, we had one person complain there was too much silliness and pranks pulled on the speakers. Oh well, can’t please everyone.

Keep alert for ‘Adult-ness’ creeping in

I love upping the fun quotient for just about anything I do. Here’s a post I wrote several years ago about adding tweaks of more fun to your life if you feel like you’re being too “adult.”

Stay vigilant and see if you’re growing up!

In Charleston for our Family Freedom event over July 4th – I regrettably acted a little too grown up by refusing to go jump into the public fountains with my kids. I didn’t have a towel and didn’t want to get wet. Blah.

Do whatever it takes to keep that inner child alive and well cared for. It’ll repay you back multiple times over.

Filed Under: Creativity, Happiness, Public, Transformation Tagged With: awakening your inner child, creative ideas in life, creativity in business, getting more enjoyment out of life, having more fun, how to increase your happiness

“Is your ‘Mission’ more important than your family?”

July 17, 2013 by Yanik Silver

lamat 2

That’s the question one of our Maverick1000 members wives, “D,” asked me…
Let me set the scene for you. We were in the Swedish Arctic, basically in the middle of nowhere. It was midnight, everyone had just driven their own team of dogs out to the Wilderness Lodge and a few of us were outside by the fire. These are the kind of meaningful conversations I enjoy.

It’s a tough question and I decided to be more honest with her than I have ever been – even with myself.

I took a deep breath and said, “Yes.”

“Yes, my mission is the most important part of my life.”

I think I detected a small gasp since this was not the politically correct answer, but it’s true.

The big lie

To me, one of the big lies we tell ourselves as entrepreneurs is, “I’m doing this all for my family.”

Are you really? Is that why you’re home at 8pm and barely see any of the kids’ activities? Or why you’ve got an iPhone glued to your ear while playing catch outside. Perhaps you believe your sacrifice will create a better tomorrow for your family.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Do you really think your kids will care whether or not you closed one extra deal at the office, or would they remember you coming home early and hanging out to play? It’s an easy lie to feed ourselves and swallow so we feel acknowledged for our work. But really you’re just working because a) You are driven by your business mission & purpose or b) Your workaholic nature is rationalized by the “rewards” you bestow upon your family.

I’ve seen a lot of entrepreneurs who have done big things in their business but couldn’t hold their families together. They obviously put their business ahead of anything else and perhaps it’s the NOT admitting of such truths that creates the rift.

One couple I hang out with both socially and in business is a husband and wife team, D & M. We’ve had conversations about this. He told me his wife understands why he works so hard, and that’s because what they’re building together benefits both of them and their family. Now that’s something that leads to more harmony instead of resentment.

Live your truth

Entrepreneurs out to do something big should not be embarrassed by their ambition. And they don’t need to wrap it in a socially palatable wrapper of, “I’m doing it all for my family.”

Men are driven by mission and purpose. I think many female entrepreneurs are too, but they’re in an even more delicate position of trying to be super mom, wife, business leader, etc.  I can only give you my perspective as a male – but what we’re really talking about is the active “male” energy of creation that either sex can harness.

If you have read David Deida’s, The Way of the Superior Man book – I believe I got this exchange from the book. Picture a WWII solider saying his teary goodbyes to his girlfriend or wife.

Girl: “Don’t go. Stay with me!”

Scenario 1:
Guy: “Ok, you’re right. I’m staying with you.”

Scenario 2:
Guy “I have to go honey. It’s my duty and mission to help save the world.”

I would bet in scenario #1, you would have less respect for him, right? Scenario #2 is the way men are naturally wired.

I realized why I was struggling with admitting my mission is the most important thing for me. And it’s because when I’m home I create intention about how I spend the time with my family. (I am by no means perfect but simply having more awareness and clarity instead of attempting to mix it all together has created more mindfulness.)

One thing I told “D” around that fire was that even with my travel and work schedule, I never miss one of my kid’s birthdays or an important event. I remember missing an experience on an African Safari at Richard Branson’s private game resort so I could be home for Zoe’s 3rd birthday. Would she remember? Of course not. But that’s part of my commitment and I wasn’t bitter about it (even when I heard the amazing stories from the Mavericks who went).

My bigger and broader mission truly encompasses my family

My epiphany came as I talked through this in Sweden with the others: actually a portion of my mission that I wasn’t totally seeing directly engulfs my family, too.

The working draft of my personal mission is to connect, catalyze and co-create a bigger future for entrepreneurs using transformative experiences, resources, education and inspiration. I’m driven by the desire to help entrepreneurs destined for greatness to get to the next level in their business, happiness and global cosmic contribution.

The simplified version might look familiar to you:

Maverick 3 pillars

Inside these 3 interconnected circles – it makes complete sense that your family and personal relationship need to be a piece of it. Part of your impact is with the immediate people around you and a big part of your lifestyle comes from the happiness around your relationships.

Today I look at what I do with my family through a Transformer lens for other entrepreneurial families. I want to apply the resources and lessons as they’re being learned to hopefully become better road maps for others with their families, raising entrepreneurial kids and creating meaningful relationships.

In fact, that’s one of the reasons we’ve put on our Family Freedom event every July 4th for the last three years for entrepreneurial families. The parents have discussions on being better parents and raising more entrepreneurial kids, while the kids learn about business and go out on the streets to sell. During this, there are fun adventures that create meaningful family memories. I think it can get bigger at some point but I don’t do it as a profitable venture (yet) but as a reason to make sure I create situations that will benefit my family and other Maverick entrepreneur families around me.

What’s more, I’m proud of many of our Maverick members who have created a bigger mission for themselves and their companies that automatically incorporates their family. Maverick1000 member, Vishen Lakihani, owner of Mindvalley publishes of some of the world’s best self-development programs all over the world. Their mission is to spread awesomeness. That means awesomeness wouldn’t be complete without spreading awesomeness to all areas of his life, including his family.

One of the things I believe that trips up entrepreneurs is not having values in a hierarchy. We always show what we value based on the time and attention we provide it. So why not do it with intention. One of my first encounters doing this was back in 1998 with Hyrum Smith’s book 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management.

One of the best exercises in that book was to create your values and then rank them. Here’s what I had for quite a long time in my planner:


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I’d say just about every single one of them still applies but the order might be different. Being true to myself #4 (Following my Dreams and Ambitions) would actually be #1 now because it can lead to everything else. Your order will vary. Your values will be different, but having this as a road map for you really helps when you feel conflicted or divided about what is the most important ‘thing’ to do.

Ok so back to Sweden…”D’s” husband, Maverick member, “M”, actually thanked me the next day. He said I’d given voice to something he had struggled with for a long time. His commitment to his mission seeming to overshadow his relationship.

What do you think?

Filed Under: Family, Public, Transformation, Truth Tagged With: achieving success, entrepreneurial mindset, how to achieve goals, life goals, life priorities

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